


This Is Your Ghost On Drugs

by iconoclastic04



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Drugs, Gen, Needles, References to Drugs, Stitches, ghost nip, ghost nip is basically like laughing gas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iconoclastic04/pseuds/iconoclastic04
Summary: Sam researches supernatural plants and discovers ghost nip, which supposedly acts like a painkiller. So she makes an extract for Danny.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	This Is Your Ghost On Drugs

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by floralflowerpower on tumblr. [Prompt post](https://floralflowerpower.tumblr.com/post/643774266299547648/you-know-what-i-have-writers-block-yall-might-get)  
> Original prompt: "Sam starts seeping dried ghost nip and making ghost nip tea. She puts it in small vials in the first aid kit for when Danny is really bad off. It basically works like laughing gas. And boy does Danny say some weird shit."
> 
> The Supernatural Horticultural Society is from [“Ghost Nip” by Hybridkylin on ffn.](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10018485/1/Ghost-Nip)
> 
> Some of Danny’s statements are from [this site.](http://dn1688.blogspot.com/2019/05/64-funniest-things-patients-have-said.html)
> 
> There's some other easter eggs in this fic, listed in the end notes :)

Danny, as a rule, did not step foot into Sam’s greenhouse. It was hot, humid, full of bugs, and it smelled weird, even after she got rid of the _Rafflesia arnoldii_. Who even knew what poisonous and/or man-eating plants she had hidden away in there. Which was why, as they approached Sam’s place after school, he was already dreading going in there.

“What did you want to show us, Sam?” he asked.

Sam stuck a key in the greenhouse lock and turned it. “I was thinking about the whole blood blossom incident, and—” 

“Hold on, you’re growing blood blossoms?” Danny shouted.

“No, don’t interrupt. Anyway, I did some research to see if there were any other plants that affected ghosts! And it turns out there are a lot. I did some poking around and managed to get a couple seedlings.” 

She slid open the door and stepped inside, Danny and Tucker following. As soon as they crossed the threshold, a wave of humidity slammed into them. Sam ignored it, striding towards the back of the greenhouse. “All the poisonous stuff is in the back left, so just stay away from that corner,” she said.

“Man, there are just too many plants in here,” Tucker said, swatting a leaf away from his head.

“Shut up, Tucker,” Sam replied. “Okay, here.” 

She pulled out a tray of seedlings. They weren’t very big yet, only a few inches tall, and had a blue-gray tinge. Each stem split into two small, ovate leaves. “Ta-da!”

Danny leaned over the tray, sniffing. “They smell...really good, actually.”

Tucker leaned in and took a whiff. “Hey, I can’t smell anything!”

Sam cracked a smile. “Funny you should say that, actually. This is _Idolon ruderalis_ , also known as ghost nip. Only a ghost would be able to smell it.”

Danny was in the process of taking another good sniff when Sam’s words finally registered. “Ghost nip? Like catnip? Sam, are you trying to get me high?”

“Ha, no,” Sam said. “The Supernatural Horticultural Society says that they act as a kind of painkiller for ghosts, although you might want to double-check with Frostbite just in case. I was thinking we could add them to the med kits for when you get really hurt.”

“That’s a really good idea, actually,” Danny said. “Especially since regular painkillers don’t seem to work on me anymore.”

Tucker grimaced. “Yeah, I’m glad I’m not the one who has to get stitches without even tylenol.”

“Gee, thanks,” Danny remarked drily. “Really feeling the love here.” Tucker punched him in the arm.

“Anyway, these need about two more weeks before they flower, and then we have to process it. You could just smoke it, but I was thinking an extract or tincture would be easier to consume,” Sam said. 

Danny flashed her a thumbs up. “That sounds great, Sam. Thank you so much, really.”

She grinned at him. “No problem! There are so many cool plants with a supernatural history. Rowan, elderberries, re-annuals, athelas, the walking tree of Dahomey….I could just go on forever. It’s too bad I had to get rid of my _Rafflesia_ , though.”

“There’s a reason it’s called the corpse lily, Sam,” Tucker said. “That thing made me lose my appetite. _Me!_ I couldn’t eat at the Nasty Burger for, like, three days!”

“The horror,” Sam said, rolling her eyes. She placed the tray of seedlings back in its slot and shooed the others out of the greenhouse. And that was that.

—

By the end of the month, Danny had completely forgotten about Sam’s excursion into ghost plants. He was holed up in Tucker’s bathroom, sitting on the rim of the bathtub and gripping a nasty gash on his bicep. Ectoplasm dribbled between his fingers.

Tucker knelt next to him, snapping on a pair of disposable gloves before poking at the cut. Danny hissed as he prodded at it. “This is going to need stitches,” Tucker said apologetically. “I’ll try to be quick.” 

Sam knocked on the door, the tap-tap-tap-tap pattern that they used to distinguish themselves from their parents, and slipped into the bathroom, locking it behind her. “Thanks for the call, Tuck,” she said. “Here, before you get started…” She pulled a small vial out of her pocket. 

“Is that the ghost nip extract?” Tucker asked as he threaded the needle. 

“Yep,” Sam said. “Open your mouth, Danny.”

Danny blinked at her before opening his mouth. She leaned over and unscrewed the vial before dropping one, two, three drops onto his tongue. He grimaced at the taste, swallowing and smacking his lips. 

“How does it taste?” Tucker asked. “Also, let me know when it kicks in and I’ll start stitching.”

“Kind of like really bitter green tea,” Danny said. “A little lemon-y, too.”

“Cool,” Sam said, leaning against the door. “I put in a little bit of lemon extract to help mask the taste. Also, I guessed on the dosage, so hopefully that’ll be fine and won’t, like, permanently fry your nerves or anything.”

Danny stared at her. “Is that a concern?”

She just shrugged.

“Okay, it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Danny said, removing his hand and grabbing the stained towel that lived under the sink to wipe the ectoplasm on. Tucker moved in, carefully stitching up the gash.

The room was silent for a few minutes while he worked. Eventually the towel slipped out of Danny’s hand and landed on the floor. He stared down at it despondently. “My towel,” he whispered.

Sam rolled her eyes. “Your hands are clean now, Danny.”

He kept staring at the towel. “My towel…”

Tucker reached down and grabbed it, handing it to Danny, who promptly grinned and hugged it to his chest with his free arm. “Dude, you’re gonna get ectoplasm all over your suit.”

Danny grinned at him. “It’s okay. Five-second rule!” He rubbed the towel on his face, arching his neck into it in a manner that was decidedly cat-like. 

Tucker and Sam exchanged a lost glance. “Uh...okay, Danny,” Tucker said. “I’m almost done with the stitches, ‘kay?” Danny just hummed in response.

By the time Tucker had finished sewing up the cut, Danny had successfully transferred the ectoplasm from the towel, to his face, back to the towel again. Tucker wiped off the area around the wound, then gathered up the used needle, gloves, and bandages and set them aside for decontamination and disposal later. When he tried to grab the towel from Danny, Danny held on and refused to loosen his grip.

“Dude, I need the towel, it’s got ectoplasm all over it.”

“I’ve got plasm all over it.” Danny replied, bringing it closer to his face and opening his mouth and— 

“Danny! Do not eat that towel,” Sam snapped. Danny jumped and dropped the towel, Tucker snatching it before he could pick it up again. 

“But Saaaaam,” Danny whined. “It smells good.”

Sam leaned in, peering at his eyes. “Oh my god, your pupils are huge.” She swatted Tucker on the arm excitedly. “Dude, I think he’s high.”

“From the ghost nip?” Tucker asked. 

Danny swayed a bit from his perch on the edge of the tub. “Can I have a napkin? My bones feel wet.”

Sam and Tucker burst out laughing. “Holy crap,” Tucker said between giggles, “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.” He reached for his phone, thumbing open the camera app and aiming it at Danny. “Hey Phantom, say something!”

Danny grinned at the camera, his eyes wide and unfocused. “Heeey, what are you doing on my rocket ship? Pluto isn’t made of cheese….”

Sam slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from guffawing. The motion attracted Danny’s attention, who looked over at her in what appeared to be awe. “Are you a witch? You look so evil.”

She doubled over, giving in to her laughter. “Oh my god, I’m actually crying. Danny!” 

“I think I’m a shark,” Danny said. He chomped his teeth experimentally. “Nom nom nom. Ooh, steak. Remember steak? I would so eat a steak right now...with peanut butter...peanut butter jelly steak….”

“This is so going to go viral,” Tucker said. 

Danny passed out soon after, starfishing across Tucker’s bed and forcing Sam and Tucker to sit on the floor. Sam crushed through a few rounds of Doomed while Tucker fuzzed out any identifying details of the background. By the time he posted the video, the sun had set. 

“I gotta head home,” Sam said, getting up and stretching. “Should we tell him about this?” She jerked her head towards the sleeping Danny.

“Nah,” Tucker said, grinning. “He’ll hear about it. I’m gonna send the link to that Phantom fan account. The whole town will have seen it by tomorrow.”

Sam smirked. “You’re evil, Tuck.”

“Hey, at least we know the ghost nip works.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fictional plants Sam listed:  
> Re-annuals - from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld  
> Athelas - from Tolkien’s Middle Earth  
> Walking tree of Dahomey - featured in an episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus
> 
>  _Idolon ruderalis_ does not actually exist. Idolon is an alternate spelling of eidolon, which means “a phantom, ghost, or elusive entity.” _Cannabis ruderalis_ is a low-THC subspecies of good ol’ fashioned weed, although ruderalis itself means “weedy” or “growing among waste.” Info on both of these terms from wikipedia.


End file.
